"Faith, Hope and Hilarity:
"The Child's Eye View of Religion." by Dick Van Dyke

A little boy who prayed for a bicycle had an even more startling

surprise instead-a baby sister. That night he had a talk with God about
His
delivery service. "I got a sister instead of a bike," he explained to
God.
"Maybe some other kid wanted a sister and got my bike. Is there any
chance
we can keep the girl and get me a bike, too.?"

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One of the most effective ways of sharing the feeling of God's
daily presence with the family is to have the children ask the blessing
for
the evening meal. But, of course, many families don't have this custom,
which accounts for the puzzlement of a little boy who went to dinner
with
his parents at the home of a very elderly gentleman. After watching the
old
man bow his head and speak in hushed tones, the boy asked his mother,
"What
did Mr. Bryan say to his plate?"

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A mother in Pittsburgh tells of having dinner with her little
son
and daughter. It had been a long, trying day at home, and her husband
was
still at the office. Both children were fussy and didn't want to eat,
and
her patience had reached it's limit. She looked up and sighed, "Oh, God,

help me with these children." Immediately her four-year-old daughter
bowed
her head and was silent. the mother was delighted, thinking the girl was

asking God to help her be good. But then the girl looked up at her and
said,
"I just asked Him not to help you."

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Three-year-old Laurie was delighted with the reception she got
at
church. She told her mother, "They sang a whole song just for
me...'Laurie,
Laurie Hallelujah'."
(The correct name for that selection, according to another little
girl ,is "Glory, Glory, Honolulu.)

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Instead of singing the Doxology phrase "Praise all creatures
here
below," a little girl sang instead, "Praise all preachers, here we go."
It
made sense to her because everybody sang it at the end of the service,
just
as they were leaving.

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A tiny boy of four was warned by his slightly older sister that
he
wouldn't be allowed to talk in church. "They just won't let you say a
word,"
she said. "Who won't?" the boy asked. "The hushers," she replied.
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As any Methodist knows, this church was founded by John Wesley.
So
you can imagine the reaction of a Methodist woman whose eight-year old
son
came home and reported, "We learned who started our church today. It was

John Wayne."

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The small son of a football coach in Ft. Worth, Texas, was
dragging
his feet on Sunday morning because he didn't like Sunday school. Finally
his
mother said, "Hurry up," and he said, "Aw...let's wait and go at half
time."
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The songs that many children claim to have learned in Sunday
school would never be found in anybody's hymnal. A mother from
Menomonee
Falls, Wisconsin , was startled to hear her daughter singing, "Jesus Is
Sneaking Through Humboldt Park." Checking with the teacher, she learned
the
song was, "Jesus Is Seeking a Humble Heart."
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Another woman listened as her daughter sang , "Onward
Christian
Soldiers,," and ended the first verse with "...and the cross-eyed Jesus,

marching as to war."

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A young Beatles fan from Houston came home singing "Jesus
Loves
Me" and added a chorus all his own: "He loves me, yeah, yeah, yeah!"

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In Littleton, Colorado , a girl watching her mother shell
hard-boiled eggs said, "Jesus must like these a lot."
"Why do you say that?" asked the mother, and the girl
explained:
"Last week in church we sang 'Hard Eggs, Take Them All To Jesus.' "
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